Whatif: Thanks for using your first post to reply to my worries. I appreciate your insight. Maybe I can explain better some of the history behind this brazen act of sending a (gasp) gift in the mail while the kids were off school on their 2 week winter vacation. I sent cards last summer, which my sister admitted to opening and reading.
We have spoken about 2 times in the last year, the 2nd time being one where I thought we actually made a connection.
I was never a JW. We abstained from Christmas for 3 years while studying with them, and quit the whole affair when we discovered what they really were. Our family used to have a big Christmas, and my niece and nephew were the center of a few huge birthday parties in the past. They are old enough to remember the fun Christmas parties, and my sister was the one who loved gift-giving most of all (5 daughters, 1 is now JW, along with my parents).
I have been tiptoeing around their rules and fears for a few years now, trying to please my parents and sister by working around their beliefs. We created a whole new idea, just so the JW's and the non-JW's could be together as a big family once a year. Our "homemade trade" ended 2 years ago, when my sister decided it was no longer ok to even come to my house, the only location that geographically worked for everyone.
I was never a JW, so have never agreed to live by these absurd rules. I have gone beyond being accomodating and patient through this ridiculous and unfair treatment my family gets, simply because we refused to jump in the pool and submit to that organization.
The JW's have infiltrated and divided our family, like has happened to so many others here on this forum. My mere existence and generosity have been insulted and rejected for no good reason. I'm not shoving anything in anyone's face.
Just a little side note. Last year, my sister and parents were offended when they were NOT invited to the Christmas party at my other sister's house. We, of course, did not invite them because we didn't want to rub it in their face that we were celebrating a holiday they used to love, but that they now hate. So which is it? Give an invitation or a gift, so you can be rejected? Or have them cry and complain when you don't include them? This year, I decided to err on the side of giving. My bad. I don't regret it. I am adult, and I take rejection well, even though it does hurt.
Last year, they felt left out. She sure has me guessing and jumping through hoops!
I hope the kids understand that we all want them included.